163 Purse Puns That Are Simply Bag-tastic

Ever felt your day could use a little zip? Well, you’re in luck because the world of purse puns is here to add some fun and flair to your daily carry! From tote-ally hilarious quips to clutch comedy, we’ve got you covered.

It’s time to handle every joke with care and let your humor shine through. After all, a good purse pun can make your day a whole lot better. So, buckle up—we’re about to embark on a laugh-filled adventure that’s sewn together with wit and style!

1. Why did the purse go to therapy? It had too much bag-gage!
2. If you think I’m obsessed with my purse, you’re tote-ally right.
3. Did you hear about the purse that performed on Broadway? It had great bag-stage presence.
4. Investing in this bag was a tote-al no brainer!
5. I told my purse we were going on a trip, and it immediately perked up. Talk about a carry-on!
6. Why did the purse apply for a job? It wanted to make some coin!
7. My purse is so cluttered, it’s like a bag of tricks in there!
8. Ever tried to organize a purse party? It’s all fun and games until the bags spill!
9. I have a joke about a broken purse, but I’m afraid it won’t hold up.
10. Why was the designer purse so snobby? It thought it was too haute to handle!
11. My friend asked me why I carry a purse, I said, “For the sake of bag-ument.”
12. Why don’t we ever tell secrets to a purse? Because it’s always opening up!
13. I got a new purse that’s also a clock. It’s about time!
14. Why was the purse always tired? It was tote-ally exhausted from carrying around so much stuff!
15. Why was the purse a great detective? It always had its case on hand!
16. I used to have a purse made of Swiss cheese, but I ditched it; too many holes in that story.
17. My purse isn’t just smart, it’s got a lot of compartments. You could say it’s pretty bag-savvy.
18. Why did the purse join the army? It wanted to be part of the infantry.
19. Ever heard of the philosopher purse? It was known for its deep pockets.
20. I bought a new purse online, but it turns out it was just a bag of lies.
21. Why did the purse go to school? It wanted to improve its handle on things.
22. My backpack asked my purse out on a date. It was looking for a little shoulder to lean on.
23. Why did the purse stop moving? It ran out of clutch.

Creative Clutch Comedy: Hilarious Clutch Puns

1. I’ve got a tight grip on fashion, especially when it comes to my clutch!
2. Ever heard of a kangaroo’s favorite handbag? The pouch clutch!
3. Why did the clutch go to therapy? It had too much baggage!
4. Clutches are like friends; you can never have too many!
5. I bought a new clutch today; it was such a steal, it practically walked out of the store itself!
6. Some people like big bags, but I’m more of a clutch person. It’s a little thing called “great taste.”
7. Had a party to go to, but I was so clutch I couldn’t handle it.
8. Do you think if clutches could talk, they’d have a lot to handle?
9. Why did the clutch take a day off? Because it felt a little unstrapped!
10. Clutches: Because sometimes, all you need is lipstick and confidence.
11. A clutch’s motto: “Keep calm and carry me.”
12. Why are clutches the best party guests? Because they always bring the essentials!
13. I tried to leave the house without my clutch once. Never been more incomplete in my life.
14. What did one clutch say to the other? “You’re looking particularly handled tonight!”
15. Why do clutches make great detectives? They hold all the secrets!
16. My clutch collection is like my humor; it’s all about the delivery.
17. I’m not saying I judge books by their covers, but I definitely judge outfits by their clutches.
18. Why was the clutch always calm? Because it knew how to hold it together.
19. I have a clutch for every occasion—I’m always prepared to be fabulous.
20. What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of bag? A boo-tiful clutch!
21. You can’t spell “clutch” without “u,” and that’s why I need more!
22. Lost my clutch at a party once. Found it clutching onto someone else’s arm!
23. Clutches are like snowflakes: uniquely beautiful and perfect for winter balls.
24. Why don’t clutches ever start fights? Because they know how to let go of their handles!
25. Ever seen a fish with a handbag? It was probably a sea-clutch.

Tote-ally Funny: Tote Bag Puns to Brighten Your Day

1. Totes my goats, this bag is amazing!
2. Feeling tote-ally fabulous with this bag by my side.
3. Let’s not tote around the bush, this bag is the best!
4. Keep calm and carry a tote.
5. This bag is tote-ally worth the haul.
6. Life’s a beach, and then you buy a tote.
7. When life gives you lemons, put them in a tote bag.
8. Are you tote-ally in love with this bag, or is it just me?
9. There’s tote-ally too much room in here for my stuff!
10. Every day I’m tote-in’.
11. Totes amazing, just like you.
12. Just another day of tote-ally crushing it.
13. Don’t worry, be tote-ally happy!
14. It’s not hoarding if it’s in a tote bag.
15. Tote-ally ready for a shopping spree.
16. Keep your friends close and your tote closer.
17. I’ve got 99 problems but a tote ain’t one.
18. Yes, I’m the girl with the tote tattoo.
19. On a scale of one to tote, how obsessed am I?
20. This tote is my spirit animal.
21. Tote-ally in charge of my shopping addiction.
22. Where there’s a will, there’s a tote.
23. I’m in a tote-ally committed relationship with my bag.

Satchel Giggles: Side-Splitting Satchel Puns

1. Why did the satchel go to therapy? It had too much baggage!
2. Have you heard about the satchel that tried stand-up comedy? It had a great strap line!
3. I bought a new satchel, but it’s really more of a freestyle bag. It’s off the shoulder!
4. My satchel and I have something in common; we both carry a lot of weight on our shoulders!
5. Do you know what a satchel says when it’s tired? “I need a break; I’m out of handle!”
6. I wanted to buy a satchel online, but I had to click on “I’m not a robot.” It was looking for a human touch!
7. What do you call a satchel made of cheese? A brief cheese!
8. Why don’t satchels get lost? Because they always follow their owner’s lead!
9. Satchels are the most relaxed bags; they just hang around all day.
10. Why was the satchel always taken seriously? Because it was all about the business!
11. You can tell a satchel is old when it starts to talk about the “good old days” of holding textbooks.
12. My satchel said it wants to travel the world, but I think it just wants to hang out at the airport.
13. Why did the satchel get promoted? Because it was outstanding in its field!
14. I tried to organize a party for satchels, but they just wanted to lay on the couch.
15. What’s a satchel’s favorite movie? “The Hangover”!
16. Why are satchels so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re tight-lipped!
17. What did one satchel say to the other? “You’ve got a lot of stuff to handle!”
18. Why do satchels make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are too baggy!
19. Did you hear about the adventurous satchel? It’s been to more countries than its owner!
20. What’s a satchel’s life motto? “Just hang in there!”
21. Why was the satchel always invited to parties? Because it was good at carrying a conversation!
22. Why don’t satchels like rainy days? Because they’re not into getting soaked and handled!
23. What did the satchel say after a long day? “That’s a wrap, let’s bag it up!”

VI. Backpack Banter: Backpack Puns for the Adventurous

1. Why did the backpack go to school? Because it wanted to learn how to pack itself better!
2. I have a PhD in backpacking – Pack Heavy Daily.
3. Backpacks are like turtles; they carry their home on their back.
4. My backpack has a hole in it; now it’s a knapsack.
5. Backpacking: Where you carry your house minus the kitchen sink. Oh wait, there’s a pocket for that too!
6. Why don’t backpacks get lonely? Because they always come in packs.
7. Did you hear about the adventurous backpack? It went off the beaten path.
8. What do you call an overeducated backpack? A knapsack full of knowledge.
9. Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open in its backpack.
10. I tried to start a professional backpacking league, but it never got off the ground.
11. What’s a backpack’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, for those hip straps!
12. Why couldn’t the backpack get through the door? It was overstuffed with ambition.
13. Adventures are best measured in backpack capacity.
14. Backpacks: Because sometimes, you’ve got to take life’s weight on your shoulders.
15. Why did the backpack go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the emotional baggage.
16. Every backpack has a story. And a crumb or two.
17. Backpack motto: If it doesn’t fit, you must omit.
18. A backpack’s life creed: Where there’s a zip, there’s a way.
19. Backpacks always stick together, because Velcro.
20. Why did the backpack join the police? It wanted to be on patrol.
21. Backpacks in history: The original social network, carrying messages from A to B.
22. I told my backpack a joke. Now it’s a laughing stock.
23. Why did the backpack go to the gym? To work on its zip lines.
24. What’s a backpack’s favorite snack? Strap-jacks!
25. The only thing a backpack dislikes: Unnecessary baggage.

Wallet Wisecracks: Fun with Wallet Puns

1. Why did the wallet go to therapy? It needed to address its emotional baggage.
2. Having no money in my wallet is a change I’m not comfortable with.
3. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
4. I told my wallet we need to break up, it’s just not paying off.
5. Ever tried eating a clock? It’s time-consuming, just like trying to find my credit card in my wallet.
6. My wallet is a magician, it makes money disappear in no time!
7. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and my wallet loses weight.
8. A wallet’s favorite movie? Gone in 60 Seconds—just like my cash.
9. Old wallets never die; they just go out of cash.
10. What do you call a wallet on the beach? Sand dollars.
11. My wallet and I are in a complicated relationship; it’s empty, and I’m full of despair.
12. Why was the wallet always afraid? It was constantly feeling empty inside.
13. What did the little coin say to the big bill? “You change my life,” but the wallet heard it all.
14. Did you hear about the vegan wallet? It refuses to have any bills because it’s paper-free.
15. I’ve got a waterproof wallet, now my money is all washed up.
16. A mathematician’s wallet is just like any other, but it counts more.
17. What do you call an old, tired wallet? A money rester.
18. My wallet’s so old, it’s in its coin-age years.
19. Why don’t wallets make good comedians? They always fold under pressure.
20. What’s a wallet’s life motto? “Keep the change.”
21. My wallet is like a gym membership, I keep paying but never go.
22. Why was the wallet always tense? It was stuffed with bills.
23. I asked my wallet for a joke, but it just gave me a credit card statement.
24. What’s a ghost’s favorite place to hide money? In a scare-case wallet!

VIII. How to Craft Your Own Purse Puns: Tips and Tricks

1. Don’t let anyone bag on your pun skills; keep toting them out!
2. When crafting puns, remember, it’s all about the delivery – just like a designer purse.
3. Stay clasp-y and never let the handle of humor slip away.
4. Keep your puns in check; you wouldn’t want them to go out of style!
5. It’s okay to be a bit over the shoulder with your puns; boldness is key!
6. Remember, a good pun is like a vintage purse – it never gets old.
7. Don’t zip up your creativity; let those puns out!
8. Always be on the lookout for a pun-derful opportunity; it might just snap shut!
9. When your pun doesn’t land, just bag it and move on to the next one.
10. Keep your puns multifaceted – like a purse with lots of pockets.
11. A pun in the hand is worth two in the bush… or should we say, bushel of totes?
12. Don’t be afraid to cross-body the line with your pun humor.
13. Remember, every pun has its place, just like every purse in your collection.
14. Be bold, be bright, be bejeweled – let your puns accessorize your conversation.
15. Think outside the bag – unique puns are always in vogue.
16. Strap yourself in for a pun ride; it’s going to be a bumpy but fun journey!
17. The key to pun success? Locking into that perfect wordplay.
18. Mix and match your puns; after all, who doesn’t love a good ensemble?
19. Be sure your puns are on-brand; you wouldn’t want to be caught off-trend.
20. And lastly, remember, in the world of pun-making, there are no faux pas!

Sure thing! Here we go:

Diving into the delightful world of purse puns adds a sprinkle of fun to any day! Whether you’re a clutch collector, tote enthusiast, or satchel fan, there’s always a pun ready to make you smile. Embrace the joy and let the puns purse-uade you!