171 Police Puns & Jokes That Are Arrestingly Funny

Ever wondered why police puns are arrestingly funny? It’s because they manage to uphold the law of humor while breaking the monotony of our daily routines.

Think of them as the good cop in the world of jokes, always ready to serve and protect our smiles. A perfect blend of wit and authority, police puns have the right to remain hilariously impactful.

The Best Cop One-Liners to Read You Your Laughs

1. “Don’t stand so close to the heart, you might get ‘arrested’!”
2. “Why did the scarecrow become a cop? He was outstanding in his field!”
3. “Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.”
4. “Why don’t police officers play cards? Because they’re always on the case!”
5. “I told a police joke the other day… luckily, it got arrested laughter.”
6. “I tried to steal a calendar once; I got 12 months.”
7. “Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!”
8. “Why did the police officer sit on the toilet? To do his duty.”
9. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and the cop salad it!”
10. “You have the right to remain silent, but can you remain hilarious?”
11. “Police officers have a great sense of humor… unless you push their buttons, then they can get pretty alarming.”
12. “Why did the cop stay in bed? Because he was an undercover officer!”
13. “Did you hear about the cop who went to the beach? He said it was arresting!”
14. “Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!”
15. “I saw a cop with a radar gun and asked, ‘Caught speeding?’ He replied, ‘No, hunting!'”
16. “Knock knock. Who’s there? Police. Police who? Police stop telling these awful jokes!”
17. “Why are police officers great volleyball players? Because they know how to serve and protect!”
18. “I was going to tell a time-traveling police joke but you guys didn’t like it.”
19. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, but if they were cops, they’d have the bones to be brave!”
20. “Why did the cop sit on the washing machine? To watch the crime spin out of control!”

Puns About Police Work That Deserve a Citation for Humor

1. Don’t worry, I’ve got this case covered – said the cop to the bottle of ketchup.
2. Police officers are great at playing the keyboard, they’re always on the lookout for the shift key.
3. Why did the police officer stay in bed? Because he was an undercover cop.
4. Why don’t police officers play basketball? Too much dribbling leads to a foul.
5. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but the cop said it was a waist of time.
6. Police officers love seafood because they’re always trying to catch crabs.
7. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? To do some undercover duty.
8. My friend got arrested for playing chess in the road. He said it was because the cop couldn’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
9. I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia. I told the cop, “I can explain everything!”
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and the cop tossing the salad.
11. Why are police officers great gardeners? They always manage to plant evidence.
12. Why do cops make terrible boxers? They always try to cuff their opponents instead of punching.
13. Why did the scarecrow become a cop? Because he was outstanding in his field.
14. What do you call a police officer in bed? An undercover cop.
15. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
16. I told the cop I wasn’t speeding; I was just in a hurry to solve the case of the missing donut.
17. Why do police always travel in threes? One can read, one can write, and the other keeps an eye on the two dangerous intellectuals.
18. Did you hear about the cop who went to the party? He let his hair down and detained the fun.
19. Why did the cop stay in the shower for so long? He was trying to solve a cold case.
20. Why don’t police officers like to play cards? Because they’re always on the lookout for a pair of aces.

Handcuffing Humor: Puns That Will Have You in Stitches

1. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
2. What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
3. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
4. I told a police joke the other day… Unfortunately, it got arrested for being too punny.
5. Why don’t police officers play cards? Because they’re always on the case.
6. What did the cop say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!
7. Why was the police report so cold? It was full of drafts!
8. Have you heard about the new police recruit? He just wanted to make a difference, but ended up making a pun instead.
9. Why did the scarecrow become a police officer? He was outstanding in his field!
10. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? A cellfie!
11. Why did the police officer stay in bed? Because he was an undercover cop.
12. What did the cop say to the ice cube? Freeze!
13. How do police parties always find you? They follow the leads!
14. Why do policemen carry red, white, and blue crayons? In case they have to draw the line!
15. Why was the police officer a good juggler? He knew how to handle the pins!
16. What do you get when you cross a police officer with a skunk? Law and odour.
17. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing and the police officer blushing!
18. Did you hear about the police officer who went to art school? He wanted to sketch suspects on sight.
19. Why do police officers always seem to be calm? Because they don’t mind a bit of a standoff.
20. What did the little lamp say to the police officer? “I’m too bright for jail!”
21. Why did the cop sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time for duty.
22. What’s a ghost’s favorite police operation? A stakeout!

Patrol Car Puns: Driving You Crazy with Laughter

If you thought patrol cars were just for chasing down bad guys, think again. They’re also excellent vehicles for humor. Buckle up; we’re about to take you on a pun-filled ride that’s sure to drive you crazy with laughter. Here are some of the best patrol car puns, guaranteed to accelerate your giggles:

1. Why did the patrol car go to school? To give a crash course in law enforcement.
2. What do you call a patrol car that sings? A Cop-pella!
3. Why did the patrol car stop at the bar? For a brake fluid refill.
4. How do patrol cars stay in shape? They do pullovers.
5. Why are patrol cars great at parties? They always bring the cuffs and salsa.
6. What’s a patrol car’s favorite game? Catch me if you can!
7. Why was the patrol car always calm? It had great arrest control.
8. What do patrol cars eat for breakfast? Traffic jam on toast.
9. Why don’t patrol cars get lost? They always take the highway of the law.
10. What did the patrol car say to the speed bump? “I’m over you.”
11. Why did the patrol car go to therapy? It had too many internal affairs.
12. What’s a patrol car’s favorite type of music? Brake beat.
13. Why do patrol cars make good detectives? They know how to tail a suspect.
14. What did the old patrol car say? “I’m retired, but I still have drive.
15. Why are patrol cars bad at hide and seek? They always stand out in traffic.
16. What do you call a magical patrol car? A wand-er car.
17. Why do patrol cars always win races? They come with built-in chase mode.
18. What did the patrol car say after a long day? “I’m exhausted but still cruisin’.”
19. Why are patrol cars never lonely? They always have a partner in crime prevention.

Detective Jokes: Solving the Mystery of Boredom

• Why did the detective bring a pencil to the investigation? To draw his own conclusions!
• How do detectives solve pillows cases? They go undercover.
• What did the detective say after finding a clue on the calendar? “Days are numbered now!”
• Why was the belt arrested by the detective? For holding up a pair of pants!
• How do you know if a detective is good at math? They always solve for “X”.
• Why did the detective stay in bed? Because he was undercover.
• What do you call a detective who solves crimes in gardens? Sherlock Gnomes.
• How do detectives write their reports? In ink-ognito mode.
• What’s a detective’s favorite coffee? An espress-sove.
• Why did the detective break up with the novel? Because it always led him on.
• Why don’t detectives play hide and seek? Because good ones are always spotted.
• What did the detective say to the suspect who was a chef? “I think you’re stewing something up.”
• Why was the detective so calm? Because he had everything figured out.
• How do detectives relax? They crack open a cold case.
• Why did the detective bring a ladder to the investigation? He heard that the case was a little high up.
• Why do detectives always look confused? Because they’re always wondering what’s the case.
• What do you call a detective dinosaur? Sherlock Bones.
• Why are detectives great at parties? They always find the dirt.
• What’s a detective’s favorite type of music? Something with a good beat to it.
• How did the detective solve the fast-food crime? He followed the bread crumbs.
• Why do detectives make terrible actors? Because they can’t let go of their role.
• What’s a detective’s least favorite clothing? Anything that gives them away!
• Why couldn’t the detective solve the alphabet crime? Because it was all about character!

Jailhouse Jokes: Humor That’s Locked Up and Hilarious

1. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
2. How do inmates call each other? On their cell phones!
3. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator!
4. Why don’t prisons have bars? Because they can’t serve the time!
5. What did the judge say to the calendar? “Your days are numbered!”
6. I tried to make a prison joke but I couldn’t get past the bars.
7. Why was the math book in jail? Because it had too many problems.
8. What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large!
9. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants!
10. Did you hear about the pencil sentenced to life? It got the lead out.
11. Why was the broom late? It overswept and got caught!
12. Why was the computer cold in the jail cell? It left its Windows open!
13. What do you call a judge with no thumbs? Justice fingers!
14. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts for it!
15. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing in the jail shower!
16. I’d tell you a joke about the broken pencil but it’s pointless, just like trying to escape.
17. Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
18. Why did the bicycle fall over in jail? It was two-tired to stand up!
19. Why did the scarecrow end up in jail? He was outstanding in his field, but it was trespassing!
20. What do you call stolen cheese? Nacho cheese and it’s got a warrant out!

The Legal Limit of Laughter: Lawyer and Cop Puns Combined

1. Why did the lawyer become a detective? Because he wanted to crack the case, not just close it!
2. Have you heard about the new police recruit? He’s a former lawyer. Now he objects to crime in person!
3. I asked a lawyer why he chose to work with the police. He said it was the only way he could pass the bar…code scanner.
4. Why do lawyers make great police officers? Because they know how to serve, protect, and notarize!
5. What did the cop say to the lawyer caught speeding? “I’ll let you off with a brief case.”
6. Why was the lawyer also a good detective? Because he had a clause for every case!
7. What do you call a lawyer who turns into a cop? Justice in motion!
8. A lawyer and a cop team up for Halloween. They go as “Law & Order.”
9. Why don’t lawyers and cops play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when the law is seeking!
10. How do you know if a lawyer is also a cop? He arrests your attention and then cross-examines you!
11. Why did the cop partner with a lawyer? One arrests them, and the other presses the charges!
12. What’s a lawyer’s favorite police tool? The legal padlock!
13. How did the lawyer-turned-cop find the hidden evidence? He followed the legal brief!
14. What did the lawyer say after solving a crime with the cop? “Case closed, and this time, it’s binding.”
15. Why did the lawyer love working with the K-9 unit? Because he believed in ‘dogmatic’ law enforcement!
16. What do you get when you cross a police officer with a lawyer? A badge of honor with a side of subpoenas.
17. Why did the lawyer decide to become a traffic cop? He wanted to make sure justice was always in the right lane.
18. What did the police officer say to the lawyer turned detective? “You have the right to remain thought-provoking.”
19. A lawyer joins the police force and says, “Finally, I’ll litigate and apprehend.”
20. Why do cops make good lawyers? Because they both enjoy laying down the law!

Police puns really are the best way to serve up some laughs. They prove that even when it comes to law enforcement, there’s always room for a good chuckle. So, let’s keep the humor rolling!