172 Mustache Puns & Jokes That Are Hilarious

Diving straight into the heart of humor, let’s talk about the ultimate guide to stache laughs. Mustache humor is not just about the fuzz above your lip; it’s an art form that can bring joy and giggles to the gloomiest of days. From the subtle twirl of a handlebar to the bold statement of a Fu Manchu, every mustache carries with it a potential joke waiting to blossom.

And let’s be honest, who can resist the charm of a well-timed mustache pun? It’s like having a secret weapon in your conversation arsenal. Whether you’re sporting a lip sweater yourself or just appreciate a good piece of facial hair humor, this guide promises to keep you entertained and maybe even inspire you to grow out your whiskers. Remember, a day without a mustache pun is like a face without a smile – utterly unimaginable!

Best Mustache Puns You Can Use In Every Occasion

1. Why did the mustache go to school? Because it wanted to get a little brush up on its skills!
2. Have you heard about the mustache that could tell time? It was always right under your nose.
3. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
4. Never trust a mustache in a kitchen, it might whisk away your food.
5. How do you organize a mustache party? You comb over!
6. What do you call a fake mustache? A mock-stache.
7. Why did the mustache start a fight? It wanted to show it had a stiff upper lip.
8. What did the mustache say to the beard? “We must stache our differences aside!”
9. Why are mustaches so wise? Because they’re always under a nose.
10. How does a mustache keep warm? It grows a beard.
11. What do you call a mustache that acts as a detective? Magnum P.I.
12. When is a mustache like an old book? When it’s time to close the cover on it.
13. Why did the mustache get into trouble? It was always at the hairy edge of the law.
14. What’s a mustache’s favorite dance? The brush off.
15. Why did the mustache cross the road? To prove it wasn’t just a sideburn.
16. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Hair metal, of course.
17. Why do mustaches make good historians? They’re great at brushing up on history.
18. What did the mustache say after making a joke? “I mustache if you got that one?”
19. What did the polite mustache say? “After you, I insistache.”
20. Why are mustaches great at baseball? Because they always know when to hit the upper lip.
21. What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Espresso, because it likes a good froth.
22. How do you know a mustache is thinking? When it’s stroking itself.
23. Why did the mustache join the rebellion? It wanted to be part of the upper lip movement.
24. What’s a mustache’s favorite day of the week? Mustache Monday, for a fresh start.

Hairy Situations: Puns That Will Make Your Mustache Curl

1. Why did the mustache go to school? To get a little trim-ucation!
2. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
3. Never trust a man with a mustache unless he’s your barber.
4. Why was the mustache sad? Because it was feeling a little trimmed down.
5. Keep calm and stache on.
6. What do you call a fake mustache? A mouthbrow!
7. Mustaches are like jokes; they grow on you.
8. Why did the mustache cross the road? To prove it wasn’t just a sideburn!
9. Stache problems? I mustache you to be more specific.
10. How do you organize a mustache party? You comb on over.
11. What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Hair-tea!
12. Why do mustaches work so well? Because they’re right under your nose!
13. What did the mustache say about the bad joke? “I mustache you to stop!”
14. Why are mustaches so smart? Because they’re always under cover.
15. How do mustaches stay so cool? They have a lot of fans combing through.
16. What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Anything it can get a taste of!
17. Mustaches: Because not every hero wears a cape, some just have a great upper lip.
18. Why was the mustache book so popular? Because it had good whisker-ly wisdom.
19. Can a mustache be a secret agent? Yes, but it’s always undercover!
20. How do you find a lost mustache? You comb the area.

Movember Madness: Mustache Puns to Celebrate the Hairy Season

• 1. Why did the mustache go to school? Because it wanted to get a little brush up on its education!
• 2. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
• 3. What do you call a fake mustache? A mock-stache!
• 4. Why don’t mustaches ever get lonely? Because they’re always attached to a good friend.
• 5. Have you heard about the movie “The Mustache? It’s critically combed.
• 6. What did one mustache say to the other? “We must, at all times, stick together!”
• 7. How does a mustache introduce itself? “Hair-llo there, nice to meet you!”
• 8. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Hair-metal, of course!
• 9. Why did the mustache go to the party? To stache away some good memories.
• 10. What did the mustache say after a good meal? “That was smashing!”
• 11. Why was the mustache always calm? Because it knew how to comb over its problems.
• 12. What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Hair-bal tea.
• 13. Why did the mustache stop arguing? It didn’t want to split hairs anymore.
• 14. How do you know a mustache is thinking? When it’s stroking itself.
• 15. What do you call a mustache that acts as a detective? Sherlock Combs!
• 16. Why was the mustache so good at soccer? Because it had great facial hair coordination.
• 17. What’s a mustache’s favorite way to travel? By hair–plane!
• 18. How does a mustache keep secrets? It brushes them under the lip!
• 19. Why did the mustache cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a sideburn.
• 20. What’s a mustache’s favorite exercise? Curl-ups.
• 21. Why are mustaches great at giving advice? Because they’re right under your nose when you need them.
• 22. What did the mustache say during the scary movie? “I’m on the edge of my seat!”
• 23. How did the mustache win the race? By a hair!

Barbershop Banters: Mustache Puns for Your Next Trim

1. Never trust someone with a shoddy mustache, they might be a little too close to the edge.
2. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
3. Why did the mustache go to the bar? To get a little trim and whiskey.
4. “I wanted a mustache but it grew on me.”
5. Some mustaches are so good, they’re almost hair-larious!
6. “Did you hear about the mustache that won the race? It was a close shave.”
7. “Why don’t mustaches ever tell secrets? They might slip and get trimmed away.”
8. Barber: “How do you like your mustache trimmed?” Response: “Oh, just make it snappy.”
9. “A mustache is like a good joke, it grows on you.”
10. If your mustache was a tree, it would be spruce-tacular!
11. “Why did the man with a mustache never get lost? Because he always had a good sense of di-rection.”
12. “Mustaches and puns have a lot in common, they both come in varying degrees of corniness.”
13. “Ever heard of the mustache that went to Harvard? It graduated summa cum laude but couldn’t comb-laude.”
14. Mustaches in the wild: where every trim is a bear necessity.
15. “Keep calm and stache on.”
16. Why was the mustache always calm? Because it was above the nose, not under it!
17. “You don’t choose the mustache lifestyle, the mustache lifestyle chooses you.”
18. “Handlebars or goatees, a mustache speaks volumes before you do.”
19. When in doubt, let your mustache do the talking.
20. “What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Hair-tea!”
21. “Why did the mustache get promoted? Because it was a cut above the rest!”
22. “Growing a mustache is a commitment, much like marriage but hairier.”
23. A good mustache makes every word worth listening to, or at least staring at.

Whisker Wars: Funny Mustache Puns for Every Beard Enthusiast

1. Why do mustaches never tell secrets? Because they’re too close to the mouth and might slip up!
2. Did you hear about the mustache that won the race? It was a close shave, but it just edged out the competition.
3. What did the mustache say to the beard during a debate? “I mustache you to reconsider your point.”
4. Why was the mustache always calm? Because it could handle any hairy situation.
5. What’s a mustache’s favorite dance move? The upper lip-tango!
6. Why did the mustache go to school? Because it wanted to be a little brighter above the lip!
7. How does a mustache hide something? It whiskers it away.
8. Why are mustaches such good chefs? Because they always find themselves in the ‘upper lip’ of culinary trends!
9. What do you call a mustache that acts as a detective? Sherlock ‘Holmes under the nose’!
10. Why don’t mustaches get lost? Because they always stick right under the nose.
11. What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Jazz, because it’s all about the smooth notes!
12. Why was the mustache book so popular? Because it had a gripping plot twist under its cover!
13. What did one mustache say to the other before a meal? “Bon appe-tweeze!”
14. Why do mustaches make excellent weathermen? Because they’re always right under the nose of the storm.
15. Why was the mustache feeling sad? Because it was feeling a bit trimmed down.
16. How does a mustache introduce itself in a posh accent? “Moustache, James Moustache.”
17. Why are mustaches bad at secrets? Because they always ‘stache away the details!
18. What do you call an environmentally friendly mustache? A Green-stache!

Mustache Puns from Around the World: International Whisker Wit

1. In Paris, they don’t call it a mustache, they call it a “lip beret”.
2. In Germany, a great mustache is not just hair, it’s über hair.
3. In Spain, a man without a mustache is like a day without sunshine, sole-less.
4. In Italy, they say a good mustache is the key to a bella vita.
5. In Japan, a bushy mustache is considered a sign of wisdom, or as they call it, “whiskerdom.
6. In Russia, they say a man’s mustache is his best fur cap.
7. In England, they believe that a mustache is the only umbrella for the lips.
8. In Mexico, they say a man’s mustache adds spice to life, just like a good salsa.
9. In Switzerland, a mustache is not just hair, it’s a symbol of neutrality because it doesn’t lean left or right.
10. In Canada, they think of mustaches as face syrup.
11. In Australia, a good mustache is known as a ‘lip shrimp.
12. In The Netherlands, they say a man with a mustache is as strong as a windmill.
13. In Brazil, a mustache is not just facial hair, it’s a carnival for the face.
14. In Egypt, they say the secret to a great pyramid is a solid foundation, just like a mustache.
15. In Turkey, a mustache is considered a sign of patience, as it’s a garden that grows above the lip.
16. In Greece, they say a mustache is the crown of the mouth.
17. In South Korea, a fashionable mustache is known as the “K-pop of facial hair.
18. In Sweden, they believe a mustache keeps the lips warm during those cold Nordic winters.
19. In Argentina, a mustache is not just a style, it’s a tango for the face.
20. In South Africa, they say a mighty mustache is the lion’s mane of the face.

DIY Mustache Puns: How to Craft Your Own Stache Jokes

1. “I mustache you a question but I’ll shave it for later.”
2. “Did you hear about the mustache that was in a jam? It grew marmalade whiskers!”
3. “Why did the mustache go to school? To get a little trim-ucation!”
4. “What did the mustache say to the beard? ‘We mustache together and comb-over our differences!'”
5. “Why are mustaches such good detectives? They always look under the nose!”
6. “Have you heard about the mustache that won the race? It was a close shave!”
7. “What do you call a mustache that acts? A stache-screen actor!”
8. “Why was the mustache always calm? It knew how to comb-posure itself!”
9. “What’s a mustache’s favorite drink? Hair-tea!”
10. “How does a mustache keep its secrets? It stash-es them away!”
11. “Why did the mustache stop growing? It couldn’t handle the stress!”
12. “What do you call a mustache on vacation? A whisker away!”
13. “Why did the mustache go to the party? To add some flair to the upper lip area!”
14. “Why don’t mustaches get lost? They always know the hair-way!”
15. “What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Hair metal!”
16. “Why are mustaches overachievers? They always go the extra inch!”
17. “What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Anything with a ‘stache’ of spice!”
18. “Why do mustaches make good friends? Because they’re always attached to someone’s face!”
19. “What did one mustache say to the other? ‘Together, we can make heads turn!'”

Well, folks, we’ve twirled our way through a forest of mustache puns, from the classic quips to the hairy situations that made our mustaches curl in delight. We’ve celebrated Movember with laughter, shared banter in the barbershop, and even crafted our own stache jokes, proving that humor truly is international.

But here’s the thing – mustache puns are more than just a good laugh. They’re a reminder not to take life too seriously, to embrace the little moments of joy, and to share a smile (or a groan) with those around us. So, whether you’re a seasoned whisker warrior or simply a fan of the follicular funnies, remember: a bit of whisker wit can brighten anyone’s day. So keep those puns coming and let the mustache mirth spread far and wide!