171 Football Puns That Are Touchdown-Worthy

Football puns are the MVPs of sports humor, always ready to bring a smile faster than a quarterback dodges a tackle. They have a unique ability to break the ice even in the tensest of fourth-quarter moments.

From the snap to the touchdown, these jokes make every huddle more enjoyable. Whether it’s a playful jab at a rival team or a witty comment about the game, football puns ensure everyone’s a winner in the game of laughs.

Top Quarterback Quips

1. Why did the quarterback go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
2. How do you know if a quarterback is a good storyteller? If he can throw in a twist!
3. Why was the football team’s quarterback also a great cashier? Because he was good at making change on the fly!
4. What do you call a quarterback with a map? A field general!
5. Why did the quarterback break up with the internet? There were too many interceptions!
6. What do quarterbacks and comedians have in common? They both need good timing!
7. Why was the clumsy quarterback always scrambling? Because he couldn’t find his footing!
8. Why are quarterbacks always calm? Because they don’t believe in passing up opportunities!
9. How do quarterbacks stay so cool? By standing near the fans!
10. Why are quarterbacks great at parties? They know how to handle a snap!
11. What’s a quarterback’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The scrambler!
12. Why did the quarterback become a chef? He was good at slicing defenses!
13. Why don’t quarterbacks ever get locked out? Because they always find a way to make a key pass!
14. Why was the quarterback such a good musician? He mastered the art of the handoff!
15. What do quarterbacks and lightning have in common? They both strike fast!
16. Why do quarterbacks make terrible jurors? They can’t resist throwing the book at the defendant!
17. Why did the quarterback take up yoga? To improve his flexibility for those tight spirals!
18. Why are quarterbacks never in a hurry? Because they know how to manage the clock!
19. What’s a quarterback’s favorite classroom activity? A pop quiz!
20. Why was the quarterback a great detective? He knew how to read defenses!
21. What do quarterbacks and magicians have in common? They both know how to make something disappear!
22. Why did the quarterback become a farmer? Because he was good at planting his feet!
23. What’s a quarterback’s least favorite weather? A sack storm!
24. Why do quarterbacks always carry a spare pen? To draw up plays on the go!

Hilarious Running Back Riddles

1. Why did the running back go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
2. What do you call a running back with a cold? A snot back!
3. Why was the running back always so calm? Because he never rushes!
4. How does a running back score a date? By rushing into the end zone of someone’s heart!
5. What do you call a running back who writes poetry? A prose back!
6. Why are running backs great at parties? They know how to move through a tight space!
7. What do you call a dinosaur that plays running back? A Tyranno-score-us Rex!
8. Why did the running back go to art school? To learn how to draw defenders!
9. What’s a running back’s favorite dance move? The spin move!
10. Why are running backs bad liars? Because you can always see their moves!
11. What do you call an environmentally friendly running back? A green back!
12. Why do running backs make terrible judges? They’re always breaking the lines!
13. How do running backs stay cool? By sitting next to the fans!
14. What’s a running back’s favorite type of music? Hip hop, for all the hip moves!
15. Why did the running back join the choir? Because he had great pitch and could carry a tune!
16. What do you call a magical running back? A run-dini!
17. Why do running backs always carry a map? So they never lose their route!
18. What’s a running back’s favorite kitchen appliance? The blender, for mixing up the plays!
19. Why are running backs like lightning? They’re electrifying on the field!
20. Why don’t running backs write letters? Because they’re always rushing!
21. What do you call a running back with a map? A pathfinder!
22. Why was the running back always invited to dinner? Because he could carve through the defense like a turkey!
23. What do running backs and magicians have in common? Both know how to disappear in tight spaces!

Wide Receiver Wit: Jokes to Catch

1. Why do wide receivers make good friends? Because they’re always willing to catch up!
2. What’s a wide receiver’s favorite type of party? A catch together!
3. How do you know if a wide receiver likes you? They always try to catch your eye.
4. Why are wide receivers so good at dating? They know how to make a catch!
5. What do wide receivers eat before a big game? Catch-up and mustard sandwiches.
6. Why are wide receivers always calm? Because they know how to catch their breath.
7. Why did the wide receiver go to art class? To learn how to draw a crowd and catch their attention!
8. What’s a wide receiver’s least favorite weather? When it’s raining cats and dogs, too hard to catch!
9. Why did the wide receiver sit on the sideline and sketch? He wanted to draw a perfect catch.
10. What do you call a wide receiver who writes poetry? A lyrical catch.
11. Why don’t wide receivers ever get locked out? Because they always find a way to catch a key!
12. Why are wide receivers great at fishing? They have a talent for the big catch.
13. What’s a wide receiver’s favorite game? Catchphrase!
14. How do wide receivers stay so fit? By running routes and catching greens!
15. Why do wide receivers always carry a pen? To autograph their catches.
16. What’s a wide receiver’s favorite magic trick? The disappearing catch!
17. How do wide receivers prefer their eggs? Catch-side up!
18. What’s a wide receiver’s favorite hobby? Catching sunsets.
19. Why are wide receivers good at solving mysteries? They’re great at catching clues.
20. Why do wide receivers make great detectives? Because they never drop the case!
21. What do wide receivers and photographers have in common? They both make great catches.
22. Why was the wide receiver always picked first for dodgeball? Because no one could catch him off guard.

V. Defensive Lineman Laughs

1. Why was the defensive lineman a great dancer? Because he never missed a beat on the sack!
2. What do you call a defensive lineman who eats a lot of beans? A gas rusher!
3. Why don’t defensive linemen ever get lost? Because they always find the quarterback!
4. What’s a defensive lineman’s favorite holiday? Sacksgiving!
5. Why did the defensive lineman go to art school? To perfect his sack technique!
6. How does a defensive lineman like his eggs? Scrambled, like the quarterbacks he chases!
7. Why was the defensive lineman always calm? Because he never lets the quarterback pass!
8. What do you call a magical defensive lineman? A sack wizard!
9. Why did the defensive lineman break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too defensive!
10. What’s a defensive lineman’s favorite game? Catch me if you sack!
11. Why was the defensive lineman a bad cook? He could only sack groceries!
12. How do you compliment a defensive lineman’s attire? “Nice sacks!”
13. Why was the defensive lineman always online? He loved to crash websites like quarterbacks!
14. What’s a defensive lineman’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, because they love the big hits!
15. Why did the defensive lineman get promoted? Because he was great at tackling new challenges!
16. What do you call a group of defensive linemen? A sack-pack!
17. Why are defensive linemen bad at hide and seek? They always show up for the sack!
18. What do you call a defensive lineman with a cold? A sniffle sack!
19. Why do defensive linemen make good detectives? They always get their man!
20. What’s a defensive lineman’s least favorite movie genre? Romantic comedies, because there’s not enough action!
21. Why did the defensive lineman sit on the ice? He wanted to cool his sacks!
22. How does a defensive lineman respond to a thank you? “You’re sacked!”
23. What’s a defensive lineman’s favorite kind of party? A block party!
24. Why are defensive linemen great at math? They love to subtract yards!

Special Teams: Kicking Up the Humor

1. Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
2. What do you call a dinosaur that scores touchdowns? A Tyrannoscore-us Rex!
3. Why did the tight end study in the library? Because he wanted to catch up on his reading!
4. Why are football players so cool? Because they have so many fans!
5. What do you call a football player who asks for a penalty? A flag footballer!
6. Why was the football team always so punctual? Because time waits for no man, but a quarterback will.
7. How do football players stay cool during a game? They stand close to the fans!
8. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
9. What do you call a group of football players who sing? A touchdown chorus!
10. Why don’t football players get lost? Because they follow the block!
11. What did the football say to the punter? “I get a kick out of you!”
12. Why was the football team so good at math? They knew how to tackle their problems!
13. What do you call a football player who’s great at dancing? A ballroom blitz!
14. Why did the football player bring string to the game? Just in case he needed to tie the score!
15. What do you call an overweight football player? A wide receiver!
16. Why was the football team at the bakery? They needed a good batter!
17. What’s a football player’s favorite type of party? A Super Bowl party!
18. Why do football players do well in school? Because they know how to tackle their studies!
19. How do you stop a football team from charging? Take away their credit cards!
20. Why do football fields never get lost? Because they have their own lines!
21. What do you call a football player with a broken arm? A throw-in towel!

VII. Coach and Referee Rib-Ticklers

1. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
2. Why are referees great at dating? They always bring their A-game to catching signals.
3. What does a referee and a magician have in common? Both do a lot of flag tricks!
4. How do referees stay in shape? They make a lot of calls!
5. Why did the coach bring a ladder to the game? He heard his team needed to step up!
6. What do you call a coach who doesn’t eat sweets? Sugar-less offense.
7. Why don’t referees ever get lost? They always follow the rules of the road.
8. Why was the football coach so good at fishing? He knew how to tackle!
9. What’s a referee’s favorite type of party? A flag day celebration.
10. Why did the coach go to the art gallery? To find a better defense mechanism.
11. Why do referees make terrible actors? They always steal the scene with their flags.
12. How do coaches stay cool during games? They stand next to their fans!
13. Why did the coach use a pencil? Because he wanted to draw a play.
14. What did the coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback!
15. Why are referees never in debt? Because they keep their accounts in check.
16. What do you call a coach who apologizes after games? Sorry team management.
17. Why did the coach eat his playbook? He needed a game plan on the go.
18. Why do referees always look so calm? They know how to play it cool under pressure.
19. What kind of tea do football coaches drink? Penal-tea!
20. How did the coach find his lost playbook? He retraced his tackle steps.

VIII. Football Food Funnies for Game Day

1. Why did the football team go to the bakery? Because they wanted a good “roll” model!
2. I like my guests like I like my chicken wings on game day – hot and with a little extra kick!
3. Why was the football team at the barbecue? To get their “grill” on!
4. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste and a cheesy defense!
5. Why are nachos the best football food? Because they’re nacho average snack!
6. What do you call cheese that’s not yours at a football game? Nacho cheese!
7. Why did the football bring a soda to the party? It wanted to pop in!
8. How do chicken wings score at football parties? With a spicy touchdown!
9. Why did the dip go to the football game? To get a good chip-shot!
10. Why did the tomato turn red during the football game? Because it saw the salad dressing as a quarterback!
11. What snack dominates at football parties? Sack-your-own chips!
12. Why are burgers the best quarterbacks? Because they always know how to “beef” up the play!
13. Why is the football stadium always cold? Because of all the “chili” fans!
14. What do you call a sleeping bull at a football game? A bulldozer at the snack table!
15. Why did the soda cheer at the football game? Because it loved the “fizz”-ical activity!
16. Why do football fans love donuts? For the hole-in-one plays!
17. How do you know if a football party is good? If the food scores more than the players!
18. Why was the beer upset at the football game? Because it got kicked off the table!
19. Why do football snacks always win? Because they never drop the ball on flavor!
20. What’s a football player’s favorite part of the pizza? The “end zone” crust!

So there you have it, folks! The world of football puns is vast and hilarious. Whether you’re at a game or just hanging with friends, dropping one of these gems is sure to get the laughs rolling. Remember, in the playful league of humor, everyone’s a winner!