176 Bagel Puns That Are Hole-somely Hilarious

Diving into the world of bagel humor is like biting into your favorite breakfast treat; it’s a dough-lightful delight that never fails to bring a smile to your face. With a mix of yeast, flour, water, and a pinch of laughter, we’ve kneaded together the perfect recipe for fun.

Whether it’s a classic joke or a pun that’s a bit more half-baked, there’s no denying that bagel humor rises above the rest. So, let’s toast to the bagel puns that always manage to spread joy, proving that when it comes to humor, they’re the yeast of our worries!

The Rise of Bagel Puns: A Yeasty Development

Who knew dough could be so pun-derful? Let’s dive into the world of bagel puns, a batch made in comedy heaven! Get ready to rise to the occasion.

1. 1. I tried to make a bagel joke, but it was a bit too crumby.
2. 2. Yeast of all, let’s give a round of applause for our doughy friends!
3. 3. Don’t be so kneady, there’s enough bagel puns for everyone!
4. 4. Bagels are hole-some foods, wouldn’t you agree?
5. 5. I’m a gluten for punishment with these bagel puns!
6. 6. This might sound half-baked, but I love a good bagel joke.
7. 7. Let’s not brioche the subject of puns—they’re a batch of joy!
8. 8. I’m on a roll with these bagel puns, doughn’t you think?
9. 9. You bake me happy with every pun, dough you know?
10. 10. A bagel pun a day keeps the boredom at bay-gel.
11. 11. Don’t loaf around, let’s hear your best bagel pun!
12. 12. I’ve got a hole lot of love for these puns!
13. 13. Bagel puns are the yeast of our worries, but the most fun!
14. 14. Let’s not glaze over the fact that bagel jokes are the best.
15. 15. If you don’t like bagel puns, you’re barking up the wrong bread.
16. 16. I’m not trying to butter you up, but you’re great at these puns!
17. 17. Bagel puns: where we dough nuts for laughs!
18. 18. Wheat’s the deal? Can’t handle these bready-good puns?
19. 19. I seed what you did there with that pun, very clever!
20. 20. Let’s not bagel the question, these puns are deliciously funny!
21. 21. You’ve got everything it takes to make a great pun, including the hole thing!
22. 22. Slicing through the competition, these bagel puns are on a roll!
23. 23. Crust me, these bagel puns will make your day better!

Hole-y Grail of Breakfast: Best Bagel Puns

1. Why did the bagel lose the race? Because it always goes around in circles!
2. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
3. Why don’t bagels ever get bored? Because they always find something to lox onto!
4. What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Doughnut hole golf.
5. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It had a hole in its heart.
6. What do you call a bagel that’s been blessed? Holy bread!
7. How do bagels do in school? They always come out with a “B”, for bagel!
8. Why are bagels so good at keeping secrets? Because they’re good at keeping things hole-some.
9. What does a bagel do when it’s locked out? It knocks on the dough!
10. Why was the bagel so smart? Because it was full of grains!
11. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ Roll with a hole lot of soul.
12. Why did the bagel take a nap? Because it was tired of being kneaded!
13. What did the bagel say to the door? “Lox me in!
14. Why don’t bagels like winter? Because it’s too brrr-eaddy.
15. What did the bagel say when it got into an argument? “You donut know me at all!
16. Why are bagels great for sailing? They always know how to navigate the lox!
17. What did the mom bagel say to the baby bagel? “It’s past-your-bread-time!
18. Why did the bagel go to the bar? To get toasted!
19. How do you organize a bagel party? You donut have to plan much, just let it roll!
20. What do you call an adventurous bagel? An everything bagel, ready for everything!

IV. Spreading the Love: Cream Cheese and Bagel Jokes

1. Let’s not brie strangers, we’re butter together!
2. We go together like cream cheese and bagels, un-bagel-ievable!
3. Are you cream cheese? Because you’re spreading joy in my life!
4. You’re the schmear on my bagel, the perfect match.
5. I cream cheese when I see you, because you make everything better!
6. Our love is like cream cheese; it spreads more with every passing day.
7. I’m bagel-ing to fall for you, cream cheese and all.
8. You had me at cream cheese, now let’s never bagel apart.
9. We’re like cream cheese and bagels – a combination that never fails.
10. You must be cream cheese because you’re making my heart melt.
11. Spread the love like you would cream cheese on a bagel.
12. I know we’re a perfect pair – you’re the cream cheese to my bagel.
13. Are we a bagel with cream cheese? Because we’re so good together!
14. You’re the poppy seed to my cream cheese, absolutely essential.
15. If love were a bagel, you’d be the cream cheese topping.
16. You’re the reason I smile in the mornings, just like cream cheese on a warm bagel.
17. Let’s stick together like cream cheese on a fresh bagel.
18. Meeting you was fate, becoming friends was a choice, but falling in love with you was out of my control, just like my love for cream cheese on bagels.
19. If our love was a sandwich, you’d be the cream cheese to my everything bagel.
20. Love is in the air, or is that just the smell of cream cheese on a toasted bagel?
21. My love for you is as thick as cream cheese on a New York bagel.
22. When it comes to love, we’re the cream cheese and bagel of relationships – perfect in every way.
23. You’re the cream cheese, I’m the bagel – together, we’re unstoppable!
24. Just like cream cheese on a bagel, you make my life deliciously complete.

Everything Bagel Puns: A Topping for Every Taste

Let’s dive into the world of everything bagel puns, where every flavor finds its match and every giggle is guaranteed!

1. Don’t go bacon my heart, I couldn’t if I fried… especially if it’s on an everything bagel.
2. Let’s give ’em something to taco ’bout – how about everything bagels with a spicy twist?
3. You’re the loaf of my life, and together, we’re everything bagels – a perfect blend!
4. When life gives you lemons, find someone with an everything bagel, and you’ve got breakfast!
5. You’re everything I’ve avo wanted – especially when you’re an everything bagel topped with avocado.
6. Spread love as thick as you would cream cheese on an everything bagel.
7. Keep calm and carrot on, even if it’s just carrot lox on an everything bagel.
8. Feeling grate, must be the everything bagel with extra cheese this morning!
9. Our love is like an everything bagel, complex and full of tasty surprises.
10. Stay pawsitive, and remember, dogs probably dream of everything bagels too.
11. Let’s ketchup over everything bagels and share the saucy details of our week.
12. Peas be with you, and also with your everything bagel.
13. Orange you glad we added some zest to our everything bagels this morning?
14. Life’s a batch of everything bagels, full of variety and flavor.
15. Time flies when you’re eating everything bagels, so savor every bite.
16. You had me at “halo” – said the onion to the garlic on an everything bagel.
17. Donut worry, be happy – there’s an everything bagel version for you too!
18. Yeast of burden, but making everything bagels is always worth the effort.
19. Let’s taco ’bout breakfast – said no one after discovering everything bagels.
20. To brie or not to brie on an everything bagel? That is the question.

VI. Dough Not Laugh: Puns That Will Make You Crusty

1. Why did the bagel lose the election? Because it was the yeast popular candidate!
2. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
3. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It had a hole in its heart.
4. What do you call a bagel that’s done yoga? A whole-y bagel.
5. Why did the bagel get a job? To earn some dough!
6. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good twist.
7. How do bagels swim? They just roll in the sea.
8. Why was the bagel always worried? Because it had too much on its plate!
9. What do you call a bagel that excels in school? A smartie bagel.
10. Why don’t bagels ever get locked out? Because they always have a key…sch!
11. What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Doughnut worry, it’s basketball – they love to dunk!
12. Why was the bagel so rich? Because it had lots of dough!
13. What did the mom bagel say to the baby bagel? You’re the apple of my rye.
14. Why do bagels make great detectives? They always find the hole story.
15. What did the bagel say to the door? “Let me roll on through!”
16. Why do bagels hate winter? Because they risk getting toasty.
17. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance move? The twist!
18. Why are bagels like smartphones? They both have great rings!
19. What do you call an ambitious bagel? A go-getter with everything on it!
20. How do bagels greet each other in the morning? “What’s poppy, seed?”
21. Why did the bagel sit on the bench? It needed a rest after a roll in the park.
22. What do you call a bagel that’s a great listener? A sound roll.
23. Why did the bagel break up with the donut? Too much drama and not enough substance.
24. What’s a bagel’s life philosophy? If you’ve got a hole, make it your whole world.
25. Why are bagels the coolest breakfast food? Because they’re never flat and always well-rounded!

Sesame Seed Giggles: Bagel Puns That Stick

• 1. You’re the sesame to my bagel; without you, I’d feel a little plain!
• 2. I’m sesame-seeded with happiness whenever I see you.
• 3. Our friendship is like a bagel with sesame seeds – it just gets better with every bite.
• 4. Life’s a batch of bagels, and I’m glad you’re in mine with all your sesame goodness.
• 5. Let’s stick together like sesame seeds on a warm, toasty bagel.
• 6. If love were a bagel, you’d be the sesame seed topping – essential and perfectly sprinkled.
• 7. Bagels without sesame seeds are like jokes without punchlines – they just don’t stick.
• 8. I must be a sesame bagel, because I’m totally stuck on you.
• 9. You make my heart feel like it’s covered in sesame seeds – full and satisfied.
• 10. Want to hear something amazing? You and I go together like sesame seeds on a bagel.
• 11. Every time I see you, my heart goes, “Sesame, sesame, sesame!”
• 12. Our love is like a bagel coated in sesame seeds – it just keeps rolling forward.
• 13. You’re the sesame seed of my eye.
• 14. Just like sesame seeds, you add the perfect touch to every moment.
• 15. If our friendship was a bagel, it’d be covered in sesame seeds – plentiful and delightful!
• 16. You’re not just a friend; you’re a sesame seed on the bagel of life – making everything better.
• 17. I’m totally “sesame-smitten” with you!
• 18. We might be two different bagels, but we both love sesame seeds, and that’s what matters.
• 19. Just like a bagel isn’t complete without sesame seeds, my day isn’t complete without you.
• 20. Let’s face it, we’re a sesame seed match made in bagel heaven.

VIII. A Batch Made in Heaven: Wedding and Love-Themed Bagel Puns

1. “I’m bagel-ing to spend my life with you.”
2. “Our love is the yeast that makes my heart rise.”
3. “You’re the schmear on my bagel, the perfect match!”
4. “Will you brie mine forever? Let’s get bagel-ed!”
5. “Our love is hole-y and un-bread-able, a true match baked in heaven.”
6. “I love you a hole lot, let’s never split like a bagel.”
7. “You are the everything to my bagel, a topping for every taste.”
8. “Let’s promise to always stick together like cream cheese on a bagel.”
9. “We go together like a bagel and lox, a perfect pair!”
10. “I knead you like a bagel needs dough.”
11. “Our love isn’t just a fling, it’s the real everything.”
12. “You have a pizza my heart, but with you, I’m whole, like a bagel.”
13. “In the bakery of life, you’re my favorite batch.”
14. “I’m dough-nuts about you, but you make me feel whole like a bagel.”
15. “Let’s have a dough-lightful life together.”
16. “You’re the butter half of my bagel.”
17. “Together, we rise above the rest, like the best batch of bagels.”
18. “Our love rounds out perfectly, just like a bagel.”
19. “You’re the onion to my everything bagel, bringing flavor to my life!”
20. “With you, I’ve found my bagel mate for life.”
21. “Let’s tie the knot… the bagel knot!”
22. “Our love is seeded deep, like sesame on a bagel.”
23. “You and me, we’re bready to take on the world together.”
24. “Our love story is the best thing since sliced bagels.”
25. “I found my everything in you, like the seeds on my favorite bagel.”

What a ride through the world of bagel humor! From cheesy jokes to dough-lightful puns, we’ve covered it all. Remember, a day without a bagel pun is simply incomplete. Keep spreading the laughs!